Garage Poet or Garbage Poet?

As I'm getting closer in looking for ways to publish my latest collection of poetry: Provoking la Piñata, I can't help but think of going through the "do-it-yourself" route. With the internet and the emergence of "publish on demand" companies, the temptation to send your work has come across all writers mind.

Here's where I stand. As of today, I have been working with a local publishing company in Omaha. I've be kind enough to help edit 6 manuscripts, two of which were outstanding and the rest complete rubbish. After sending some first drafts of my manuscript sometime in March, I received a letter sometime this summer saying my manuscript has been "recommended" for publication. Like any struggling writer, I was ecstatic with the great news. But I've come to conclude that being "recommended" can mean a lot of things.

Last year, I had two poems recommended for publication at Bilingual Review, but I still have not seen them in their journal, nor have I received a copy or any news of their whereabouts. More recently with the publishing company from which I received that letter this summer, I have emailed the publishing director just to see where in the process the manuscript is but I still have not received a reply. It's very frustrating to not get any news of a manuscript status. It keeps your feelings in limbo, not knowing what will happen to this pieced of art that you have worked so hard for.

As the months pass, I've been really contemplating publishing the book on my own. This wouldn't be the first time I have done a self-publication (Though this could be the first that I truly promote and looks to sell for profit). Detras del Biombo, was my first publication. I made 100 copies and distributed them as a wedding present to our guest. The majority of the love poems where in Spanish and I'm sure many of the guest were left feeling clueless about what to do with the chapbook, but damn it felt so good to hand someone a copy of my poems. Ever since then, I've been in pursuit to re-create that same feeling, over and over.

The second chapbook, The Traveler, was printed last May. I only printed 50 copies. Made of a series of vignettes, I printed this chapbook as a senior present for my students. I felt that if there was anyone who I'd like to give this book to, it would be to my students. I hope many of them read it and contemplated some of the messages it contained.

Provoking la Piñata could have the same fate. There are so many things that I like about self-publishing. The first and one of the most important aspects being that I have complete artistic control over what I'll be putting in my book. I would hate for someone to tell me what the title or book cover should be. Another aspect that I really enjoy about self-publishing is that I'll be able to price the book and make a much bigger profit from the sales. At this point in my career, I don't have the luxury of knowing that thousands of copies will be sold and I will make profit from the volume of copies being sold.

The big draw backs of self-publishing are obviously that I will not only have to front the expenses, but also do a lot of self-promoting/marketing to sell the books. And of course, the biggest draw back is....being labeled as "one of those" poets that self-publish.

I've thought long and hard about that label and I can't seem to find why it has such a bad taste in reader's minds. I've always thought of my poetry status as being that of a struggling rock-band. Both are lyrical/musical to some sense and both are considered a major art form, but one of the big differences lies in how the audience view self-promotion.

Many of the major bands today at one point started as nobodies. They probably began playing in someone's living room, then moving to play at local parties and finally knocking on the door of local pubs in search to get a gig. Eventually, they saved enough money to get some studio time to record their first album and from there on it was all about getting as many records into the hands of people in hopes that someday they'd get that big record deal.

The majority of people would think this would be an admiral process, even more, a natural process of making it big. Yet, in the literature world, for some reason this is frowned upon. People assume since your book isn't published through an official publisher, your work could either be crap, or worst, you want to come across as an author just because you made your own book. But isn't this essentially what rock-bands do. Granted there are many horrible rock bands (I've seen my fair share of them) as I'm sure there are numerous horrible self-publications, but isn't this what being an artist is all about. Self-expression, self-promotion, self-denial and self-destruction.

So, will I become a Garage Poet or Garbage Poet? Only time will time will tell, in the meantime, I'm gonna spend my mornings digging through some records instead.

Race to the Finish

If some of you in Omaha saw me running downtown super fast this morning, don't worry I wasn't being chased by "La Migra", I was just in a 10K race.

What a difference shedding a few pounds can make. One year ago, I was crawling on the sidewalks of Creighton University because my feet hurt so bad after doing a 10K. The pain was so bad I had to ask my wife to come pick me up, while I sat there like a poser-running bum almost in tears.

Not the case this year. My wife and I were both able to finish the race without stopping once. Did I cheat? No sir. Did I take a short cut? Nope. Did I put wheels on my shoes? Never, that would be dishonest, although that would be pretty cool. I ran the whole thing, fair and square. I'm pretty excited about it, a huge improvement from last year.

I want to say the main reason for such an improvement has to be the weight that I lost this summer. I was very active for the past three months. Teaching a lot of tennis lesson, playing soccer twice a week and picking up the sport of mountain biking. I have always been an active person, but I really pushed myself to lose some weight. I'd ride my bike to places if I could, I'd keep my lunches to a sandwich and I'd make a daily conscious decision to work on my weight. I don't think I was ever really over weight, but I knew I could lose some pounds off the old gut.

The result of losing that weight have been tremendous. I shed about 15 pounds. From 203 to about 188. The big differences that I can really see are obviously my pants are fitting me better, they aren't as tight, I'm able to run a lot faster and longer and the biggest improvement is my feet not hurting after a run.

I've had problems with my feet since college. My feet are super flat. According to doctors I have plantars fasciitis. Basically, since my feet are so flat, I have no arch support which makes certain tendons work harder, thus overworking them and making them sore. It really wasn't a concern for a long time, but I did begin to notice pain more frequently when I put on a few pounds. I've tried insoles, which initially worked, but I know the problem was that extra weight that I was carrying around.

So today, after the race I didn't know if I should expect the same results as last year. I was dreading the pain, and even more because we arrived a little late to the race and I didn't properly stretch. To my enjoyment I had no problems during the race (I actually didn't get tired of running until about 1/2 from the finish line) nor after. My feet hurt for about 5 minutes and then I told them to get over it and proceeded to eat 3 bagels. I felt so good that I even went to play some soccer late in the evening. Life is a lot better for my feet now that they aren't dragging a fat ass.

Gringo Nightmare

I recently stubbled upon a story that I found very fascinating. The story actually took place a few years ago in San Juan del Sur, a small yet growing beach town in the south of Nicaragua. I happen to stumble upon this story as I have been researching "famous" crimes in Nicaragua. The reason I have been doing this is mainly due to a book that I purchase 5 years ago while I was in Managua. As I often due, I like to check out books store in the different places of the world I travel to and a book called "The Biggest Crimes of 20th Century in Nicaragua" caught my eye. I remember thinking this could be a great way to get ideas for either a book or short stories (which is the purpose of researching crimes in Nicaragua). I read a few entries at the time of purchase, but then forgot about. I rediscovered this little gem the other day while cleaning out our library at home. I thought I've give it another shot and see what some of these famous crimes were about. I found some of them to be very gruesome and brutal, whiles other I thought were common crimes one would expect in rural poor communities.

As I kept reading these crime summaries, I wondered if there were any recent famous crimes in Nicaragua...then I stumbled upon the story of Eric Volz.

Volz was convicted of murdering his ex-girlfriend in San Juan del Sur. He had a history, according to the victims mother, of being a jealous man, yet when the crime happened, several witness, co-workers, and records of cell phones, placed him two hours away in Managua the capital. How could this be possible? Well the controversy of this whole case is revolves around Volz being an American Citizen. He believes the Ortega government would like to make an example of him, on how foreigners can't get away with murder in Nicaragua. I won't go into detail about the case, since I don't really know them yet, but it is believed that Ortega had a large influence in the judges decision to dismiss several key witnesses and evidence. After few months of trial, Volvz was found guilty and sentenced to 30 years prison, only to be overturned after spending 14 months in jail. At the trial of appeal, evidence and witnesses that were ignored at the original trial were presented, aquitting Volz and giving him freedom once again.

But the story doesn't end there. A few years after, the Ortega govt' asked once again that Volz be tried. This would be a direct violation of the Nicaraguan Constitution, but this wouldn't surprise anyone to know that Ortega interprets the Constitution by his own standard.

I have been trying to follow what is going on with his case at the moment. He has been promoting himself as an innocent man that is merely being used by the Nicaraguan government as a political tool to further their relationship to the U.S.

Volz also came out last year with a memoir of his experience titled: Gringo Nightmare. I purchased the book and I'm really anxious to see what his story is and how he explains the corruption within the Ortega administration . I'll keep everyone posted after I read the book!

Bubbles

Hello Blog...it is nice to see you again. That is exactly what I'm thinking at the moment. It has been awhile since I last wrote in this blog or online journal, whichever you prefer. Why haven't I written for sometime? It certainly isn't because I haven't had anything to write about, that has never been the case, nor has the excuse of not having enough time to write, as I can always make time for that, even with the busy crazy life I live at the moment. I guess the simple answer would be that, I didn't have the desire to. It has actually been a long-time since I've written anything new, whether it be on the blog, prose or poetry. As far as new material has been concerned, the last thing I remember writing was: Losing Purgatory, a poem about Managua and I think I finally stopped myself from the edits in late June.

I must admit that it has been nice to take a break from writing. After almost three years of writing/editing, and of course reading almost everyday, I felt a break was much needed. Those years were consumed with 4 writing projects, three of which I feel have come to their finale.

At the beginning of May, I printed out 50 copies of The Traveler as gifts to my seniors. It had been a year long project that started out as just a writing exercise and suddenly transformed into something that I am proud of and hope will help my students. I do plan to keep contributing to this collection, but I won't pursue it as vigorously as I did the past year.

Yet, the final breath of fresh air came with the completion of Provoking la Piñata. I have worked endlessly on this project and I think my best writing is portrayed in this collection. I finally have it the way I want it, with the poems I think best fit together. One of the most difficult aspects of putting the book together was the order in which the poems fit together. I started out with three section, but by the end I realized that I had four sections of poetry. I have sent out the manuscript to a few places, just to see how it goes and I will continue to push for this book to published, but in the meantime it give me a sense of peace that I can start a new project.

Although I haven't written much, I did manage to load my brain with some great literature. Who are we kidding, a writer never takes a break from his art. Here is a list of the pages my cranium devoured this summer:

-Pluverse, Ernesto Cardenal

-Drowning Tucson, Aaron Morales

-The Savage Detectives, Roberto Bolaños

-Tres, Roberto Bolaños

-2666, Roberto Bolaños

-La Universidad Desconocida, Roberto Bolaños

As you can see, I'm really digging Bolaños! In my personal opinion his writing is freedom. It is amazing how he takes you on journey about nothing and everything. He makes me want to write, simply put. I am especially happy that I finally got La Universidad Desconocida. I have been searching for almost 6 months for this book of poetry. It is so interesting to see what he would write about. It makes you wonder if you are at the mercy of a genius or an idiot.

It's good to be back to "writing mode". I miss it. I hope it misses me too. I opened a new journal this evening. Looks the same as always, navy-blue, thin pages, ready to be filled. I already have plans on how I'd like to fill it. I'm excited for the adventures my mind will take me. I want my creativity to take me to new places, to sacrifice me to my imagination. Oh boy...